show me the meaning of being lonely..

'Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me


Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why can't I be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze upon me
Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love)
There's no control
Are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
They tell me


There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body, and soul
How can it be
You're asking me
To feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart
Tell me why can't I be there where you are'

certainly Backstreet Boyz' best ever musical....and equally good lyrics...when am i going to get that Evanescence piece??!!

sambar idly..

Ratna cafe's sambar idly (the new one at RTO) beats Murugan idly hands down...the sambar here outclasses murugan's USP..soft idlies.....other items at RC are so-so though....!!!

Fortune smiles..me 2!!

Fortune favours Indian stock markets big time...(not to mention..on me too..rather.. not too big time.. but thou shalt reap what thou sows:-))

Articles scream about the rise of Ambani to the pole in the list of the richest...(and a response from Reliance that he is not..http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Business/India_Business/Mukesh_Ambani_not_worlds_richest_man_says_Reliance/articleshow/2502073.cms).. I was reading through some message forum in Rediff where someone said..India's wealth is being concentrated into a small number of hands and it hasn't reached the larger masses...more important was his/her point where he stated the wealth is in no way proportional to the amount of work done by the individual..with specific references to NRN, Premji and the Ambanis..

With my inclination to socialist tendencies this idea does appeal to me but references to these figures is what pulls me away from this guy's remarks..this would have worked out perfectly in the erstwhile Soviet union...still the truth is..yes these guys do possess money and a lot of it in fact...but the money is not merely a quantification of the man or his labor...it is the 'idea', the 'vision' that sells...
NRN - starting a company with 10k and growing to a 2B$ enterprise is no child's play
Premji - turned a Vegetable oil manufacturer into a software biggie
Ambani - King of them all..Dhirubai..started as a hot water supplier at a hotel...not Anil and Mukesh..they had a solid platform to start work on...but their contribution to the growth of the Reliance empire was by no means lesser than any of the above

and these guys do have a social responsibility (CSR) index that is far higher than what so many other IT MNCs in India possess...they do their bit for the society..i call it 'a bit'...after all Business is all about cut-throat competition, profits and every rupee of it on your balance sheet counts...that should provide an answer to my dear unknown friend on rediff...

Mark not the man; for he is mortal..but his idea...........survives and thrives...

Paartha Vizhi..

I've wanted to write about so many songs that i end up writing nothing....and i heard this song today prompting me to write this blog...

One heck of a song..that is what 'Paartha Vizhi' from 'Guna' is...There are too many good things:

1. The chorus portion all through the song where Raaja stands tall...
2. The conch and cymbals that come for a brief moment before the pallavi starts..
3. Yesudas... astounding vocal abilities..gifted.. is all i can say..and more so in this particular song when he shifts to a higher tempo towards the end of the song...his voice glides so smoothly (call it kural izhaithal in Tamizh)
4. Screen Portrayal..where Kamal sways in the queue to get a piece of prasad from the heroine..(interestingly this part makes amma go wild!!! and i find it an amazing piece of art )
The boundless joy that emanates on his face when he gets it is captured so well (akin a bhaktha blessed with darshan of the Divine) ..
5. The movie as a whole...

This is something i remember from long back..Kamal said this in some TV program...this was how the song sequence was explained to Raaja...the song was to evoke a sense of divinity, longing and love..the actor and the director wanted it to be in the lines of the Carnatic song..'Kaava vaa vaa..Kandha Vaa Vaa'..and Raaja's response was 'Paartha Vizhi'...i had a chance to listen to 'Kaava vaa' on radio some time back and the similarity in the emotions that are evoked by the songs is striking...call it the same raaga base or taala or shruti ..what else and what not...Music is Divine...!!!should get to know what raaga this is based on??

Jackpot..

Am watching 'Jackpot' on TV now and am left wondering as to why people sing, dance, recite poems ( in quality Tamil, to a hostess who finds it difficult to pronounce even the least complicated words of this language) on this show...!!??the lure of being 'on-air'..???

weekend..

This weekend is coming to an end finally;one where I had to stay indoors all through the Saturday and Sunday because it has been raining cats and dogs and no respite still!!

I was so frustrated when i received this call from my team member on Friday at 2100 hours asking me how to implement something in ASP/Javascript and asked if she could work on Saturday and complete that. It was her wish;why would i need to be informed about that??!!. i told her i couldn't be of any help unless i had access to the code and asked her to send it across. Told her that we could work on Monday.. and the thing that i most feared came true..she sent the ASP file as a .Txt attachment..ammaaaaaaaaaaa...(i just hate when people do this..there is an extension for each file and an application to open each file type..then why do these freshers find it interesting to send across code files as .txt files..)

i know we are running on a tight deadline but still i had my limits. i was already feeling bad that i couldn't go home even though i started from Office at1700 hours because of what else but rains.
then this useless exception comes up for a build that is to be installed only the week after this and i've got to fix that ASAP (all these acronyms people invent to save time are useless when they have to explain what it means to someone who isn't acquainted with this stuff. Work twice over...Why don't they just say 'at the earliest' or 'as soon as possible'?? !!!)..this 'investigation' went on until 0100AM and was fixed and i started watching 'Pudupettai (Survival of the fittest)'..

I couldn't keep awake beyond 0300 and dozed off midway through the movie..completed it on Sunday and what do i tell about that??? it is one of those movies that creates great hypes and manages to fail perfectly on all fronts..hmm..can't call that though. the music and BGM were fantastic..found BGM in a lot of scenes to be inspired by the 'Godfather theme'.. it was like one of those computer games where your objective is to bash whoever comes in the way just for the heck of it..blood and gore in abundance throughout the movie...probably the director this would more than make up for the lost storyline..the picturization was excellent..(though the quality of playback from the DVD that i had was not too good)...to top it all the hero doesn't fit the movie's tagline even infinitesimally!!!

Then came the weekend's most comical part. I had copied this movie 'V for Vendetta' couple of months back and clicked on the the file that said 'AVSEQ1.dat' and watched it to the full 50 minutes. i was surprised to see that the title slide came in the end...i had a preconceived notion that the Wachowski's brothers (of the 'Matrix' trilogy fame) movies are complex but this came a cropper..i had no idea as to the head and tail of the movie...something struck me..were the files named incorrectly???..i clicked on the file 'AVSEQ4.dat' and voila!!!here comes the Warner Bros music...hmm...completed watching the first 75 minutes of the movie!!!i could see a lot of semblances between 'V' and our own Samurai, Indian , Citizen...I've got no idea as to which of these movies sparked off the idea..but the dialogues were a class apart...real good ones...the movie also gave me something to search on wiki - 'The Gunpowder treason' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunpowder_Plot)

not to mention great home made meals on both the days.!! a weekend to remember..??!!

moha mull..

I've been looking to listen to songs from this movie for so long. If am not wrong, this was a novel by Janakiraaman (Yup..did a google search and it proved me right!!) and received rave reviews. I've not read the novel but did watch the movie in my school days.

Didn't have such a good ear for music then..but then when i really took to Raaja, there was one song in this movie that seems to have left such an impression on me..Sollayo vaai thiranthu (sung by MG Sreekumar, resembles Yesudas' voice, every mallu singers' voice is that way!!)..am listening to that on raaga.com..(http://www.raaga.com/channels/tamil/movie/T0000664.html) and it still remains as fresh as ever. I guess the singer's voice blends so well with the minimal BGM in that song evoking a strong feeling of a lover pining for her counterpart. Surprisingly even the interludes in this song are so minimal, which is so un-Raja-like.

I really have no idea of carnatic music but somehow felt the pallavi of the song 'Yengae Yenathu kavithai' from Kandukonden Kandukonden strongly resembles 'Nenje Gurunatharin' from this movie and that is when i started looking for Mohamull's songs.

Should read this novel sometime soon. To me, a book is always better than the celluloid. One catch though, is that, if books were not made on celluloid, I would have missed out on some great music!!

Mr.X again

This is going to be about Mr.X again. I do know that my messages are filled with Mr.X's antics but I have no other option. Here is what happened:

X: hey man how is it going
[not again you fool..how many times will you ask this question without any context]
I: Good.
X: So what are you guys talking about
I: [blabber something about a recent Production issue and tell him sarcastically that we should fund a project to migrate the database from MySQL to Oracle Grid]
X: Hahahaha..that is a good project right??What about the other proposal that you had sent to onsite?
[it must be noted that the proposal was since accepted and the project approved]
I: yup. we have delivered the mock ups and business is impressed.
X: great. So what are we waiting for? When are we getting started??!!!

i had no clues to this no-brainer. How do i make him understand that mock ups are part of the analysis phase and we are into construction now?

Can someone save me from this? Perhaps X is a God Sent resource (too much IT talk harms your communication this badly. i can't find any other tem to fit here :-( ) to make my work hours more enjoyable!!!

hmm...appreciation mails!!??

So amazed by the stupidity of this client of mine..

Initially there was this problem with Mysql going crazy each day and tables crashing; then the batch component that was using this database consuming higher processing power (there was this guy from one heck of a tech-fundoo company who said that on a quad-core machine, 25% consumption meant you were using 1 processor for yourself!! Not sure if it works that way but sounded too illogical to me and wonder what they will do with the other 75%?!)..We can came up with some stupid approach to clear the so-called back log of over 4 weeks..To be true we had planned to load only 3 weeks of data..all said and done..this bugging process took 14 hours to clear 4M records and mails started pouring in from all over appreciating 'your hard work, perseverance, commitment' and whatever adjective you can think of.

To top this all, the appreciation mail from Mr.X copying his manager was too comical.he is still of the view that all this happened just because we had a job turned on which was not supposed to be the case..ooph..sometimes you just have to leave people that way..there is perhaps some use even in speaking to the wall..not sure i need to meet him tomorrow(ooveee..)

Who knows that all data on that data store built specifically for this purpose is only junk; even if you can be so generous to call it that way.nobody on earth wants to know what is in that store and are looking for some crap count that comes from this table...!!!

This still is not resolved and we are to identify if this high CPU usage is because of our component.Some things never seem to end!!


oo.so many things happened last week that i am just not able to put it in any order..just remembered that one day the DBA said one table was missing after the repair database operation and he did not have the back up files because his laptop was out of space!!and people were searching all over the network for one copy of that file..luckily they managed to find it out..!!whew...

India wins!!

Looks like people never tire watching cricket here in India...Australia bowled out for 193..and India manages to score that in 46 overs after losing 8 wickets..Karthik should've bowled brilliantly for his 6 wickets...Good comeback.. another face saver from India

en iniya udhavi melaalarin gavanathirku

How easy is it to make statement that doesn't speak about anything in particular yet manages to speak about everything? And this guy thinks he has perfected that art!!! What a meeting that was? One that i didn't want to attend but had to just because I am a so-called 'Team lead'. Mr.X started the session with a stupid mistake. He mis-spelled the initiative's name on the board. What a way to get started.

Then came his list of generalizations:
1. 'You would have suggested decommissioning some job or removing a dataset or migrating to tape, thereby offering a cost saving. Similarly i need data for all projects from Jan 2007'
-- How do i make X understand that this applies to only Mainframe projects and not to Open Source projects? he listens to all my talk and says it should be easier to quantify savings for Open Source projects..!!i am pretty sure i didn't mean to convey that..perhaps i have a problem in working with dumbos..should check out...

2. 'You will have start time and end time for the query. Subtract them and you get the time saved.'
--What does this guy think? Every god-forsaken query has to be run just for noting down the time taken and no idea to what that gives as an output?

3. 'There are tables without indexes'
--That was told with an obvious reference to one of my 'killer' projects. By that time though i had no idea as to how to put across ideas into a brain that X thought was in abundance but never seemed existent to me. Virtual reality!!



End of it all..i had managed to waste 45 minutes of my precious time at Office..yup..that was tea time for me!!

Sweet Dreams!!??

Good Night and Sweet Dreams..Right when i thought i could close my eyes...someone pings me this message prompting me to crib as usual..how do you classify a night as good and a dream as sweet???

hmm...maybe am just too sleepy to come up with answers or am right in that these phrases are all stupid with no meaning attached to them (what we call 'asai sol' in Tamil - added just for the sake of poetic beauty)!!!

will try to see if i can remember this sometime later and update this post!!

Back Again

Not that I have some 'only-he-knows-this-stuff' material to be posted...jus thought i would sink in one more before sleeping...i was reading this book called 'kite runner' (suggested by many of my colleagues)...didn't like all of that but did go well at some places...

I really don't find a reason as to how these publishers manage to get reviews with 'devastatingly beautiful' , 'work of a millenium', 'compulsive page-turner' and all that hoo-haa stuff about some crazy novel..(not that i call kite runner a crazy one though this book had all such fundoo items on its covers..)..can't stand this...

and do i end this post now???

Finally!!

So much for creating this thing called a blog...couldn't think of a name for this...don't know where from this weird word called 'rattle' came into my mind....
must be for the umpteenth time am repeating this even during typing this first post: will i ever return to post something else??